Although most of the few people who read my blog already know, my real estate office is closing it's doors and merging with our sister office. Unfortunately with this merger, I will be out of a job come the end of the month. I don't think I have ever really been laid off before and I really put a lot of effort into this job so I am having a lot of mixed feelings. Granted I wasn't 100% happy with this position...it was more stress than I have ever experienced, thankless, and there were some very difficult staff issues that I had to deal with...nonetheless I felt like this was my ship and I had to watch it sink. When the ship finally sank it was a bit of a releif but that was soon overcome by the worrying...will I have a job, what about this detail, and that detail...crap what about this, and that????
Although I am terrified about the complete lack of job prospects out there, and I hate hate hate interviewing (along with most of the population I think) I feel like it will be ok.
The issue I am having right now is that I am feeling very bitter, angry and I am having a very difficult time trying to motivate myself enough to do the work that I know needs to be done. I feel like I went through a lot with this company and stayed on and worked hard through some very difficult times and I am being tossed to the side. I am having difficulty putting aside the bitterness and doing any work. The thought that I will have to stay here for two and a half more weeks and I will be asked to do so much work to help merge the offices makes me sick.
How do I even force myself to come here every day? How do I force myself to put on a happy face for all these people who are suffering only minor inconveniences? How do I pretend to care? I was already having "the blues" lately and now I feel like I could easily slip into a nice depression. I need to stop it before it happens though, how do I do that?
4 comments:
Well I'm sorry to hear that things didn't work out. I know you don't want to do the work that you have left - but if you focus on it, that will help keep you out of "sickness". It was really hard for me to work my last job, when I knew I was leaving to have a baby. (Lily is sitting here just going crazy over the doggie pictures on your blog btw..."Mama! mama! doggies!") Love you, and hope you find something better really soon!
So sorry to hear about your job! Even when it's not perfect, there is something very comforting about the stability of the known. Nothing yanks my chain like wondering "what next?" But you're talented, educated, smart, and have overcome much bigger challenges than this in your short lifetime, right? So go get something better. And don't bother with depression -- a lot of us have tried it, and it ain't that great. Forward!
Hey, putting on a happy face is what Meredith's do best and you are at least 1/4 Meredith! Just do the best you can to help finish up and you will feel good about it when you are done. If you don't, it will bother you for many years. The thing about companies is that they used to care about their employees but they don't anymore and that is a difficult thing to accept but it is the truth. You can do it!!
I would've given you some form of advice, but I'm as mad as you are... :)
I miss seeing you too. We need to do lunch sometime - but seeing as how I'm teaching full-time...it doesn't leave much. So, maybe dinner.
I hope you are feeling better about things. Hopefully things aren't too crazy right now - I think you said the 20th was it. Good luck. I'm thinking of you!
Post a Comment